Thanks man, glad you got something out of it :)

You should attend Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University to get the fundamentals of money management – for all of lifes phases. Check out daveramsey.com for more info.

It was a first time home buyers program through the loan company (I believe it was sallie mae). They paid for closing costs (up to $5000) as long as I had the income qualification (it was something ridiculous), the house met the specs, and my credit was good enough. It’s scott free as long as I keep the house for 10 years. If I don’t, the amount they gave me is pro-rated for that time and I owe the rest back. I don’t think they even offer the program any more to be honest.

Is this the $7500 credit program where you pay back at $500 per year? If so, I also used that program and I have refinanced since. It doesn’t hurt to check with a mortgage lender to verify.

1. I never really intended to completely say screw it. Just get a bit more relaxed with finances and not freak out and come up with a solution for going $20 over budget on groceries. But yeah, definitely not throwing it all away.
2. Agreed x1000. I think that’s how everything came to a head. There were multiple factors about me not going so it wasn’t money 100% (or even the main reason) but it basically brought to front all these worries.
3. We’ve been working on it slowly. I showed her the new budget idea and she liked it because she was tired of me saying “we don’t have any money” when in actuality we just went over in one category and have extras in other areas to fill it up.
4. Yep, next school year is hopefully when it’ll pay off for her…at least for something. She is starting the school year with a long term sub gig so she’ll be set right up until the baby gets here. Unfortunately there really isn’t any super close colleges to make it worth tutoring.
5. I’m already doing that to a point. My side business sells parts. Like I mentioned in my “update” comment I’m going to take part of the profit from that and use it for the fun stuff without feeling guilty (or at least try). That will give me motivation to get that profit even higher also.
6. I know we’ll be fine once it gets here, it’s just another thing that popped up and added that stress.

Thanks a ton for the suggestions. And yeah, debt is down on my list after an emergency fund and retirement savings since interest is so low but it’s on my radar and probably even a bit more after some of the above comments.

2. It sounds like missing out on this yearly event for the first time is eating at you, and perhaps is your first future-daddy sacrifice. First of many, which I’m sure you’re wilting over. Props to you for making that sacrifice, it will pay you back in the future! Try to feel proud instead of depressed, because you should be proud!

3. You MUST find a way to communicate with your wife about money. Maybe not in depth right away, but if you don’t open that communication channel soon it will be too late in the pregnancy to “stress her out”. Maybe there is something she could get excited about, like saving money on eating out by learning to cook gourmet for cheap, or knitting/sewing items for the baby as a cheap hobby and alternative to buying brand new baby stuff, etc.

4. It sounds like it could be a whole year still until your wife starts a full time job. Hopefully it will be sooner, but let’s be conservative. It’s great that she’s doing sub work. I hear a lot of teachers say they got a full time gig by subbing for a teacher who never returned, plus it’s lots of connections for when a job opens up. Other posters have mentioned tutoring and teaching college courses. Are there any community colleges nearby?

5. Can you turn your hobby into something that at least kind-of pays for itself? I’ve heard of photographers who use vehicles as props. Perhaps you could create a color flyer of your toys to mail to local photographers. I’m not sure what the going rate would be, but I would guess that you could get $50-$100 to allow some one to sit in your car for some photos for an hour. Of course, they wouldn’t drive it so there wouldn’t be any liability issues. There might be other ways to get some cash from them too.

6. If the cost of the baby is really stressing you out, maybe you could discuss with your wife and whoever is doing the baby shower (assuming that you’re doing that) about frugal parenting. See what big items you can get second-hand for free or cheap or borrowed, restrict your registry to essentials-only and register at an affordable store so you can get more items etc.

It sounds to me like the main issue is that you’re stressed and not having any fun. Life is changing in a big way and there is a lot of uncertainty. Do whatever makes you feel better (except saying “screw it!) about your finances! I saw you wrote earlier that we talk a lot about reducing debt, but it doesn’t sound like you’re worried about that and you don’t mention any current credit card debt so if the debt doesn’t bother you then tackle the things that do bother you.

I hope things get better for you and your wife, and that you have a happy, healthy baby! :)