Hi!

Been a while!

I’m sitting at a coffee shop right now in the Outer Banks desperately trying to avoid a presentation I need to put together for a new project (shout out to Ashley’s Espresso Parlour!), and realized it’s been a while since we last chatted. So hello! Whatcha been up to over there? Anything new and juicy going on this Summer? :)

It’s been a hot mess here in the DC area with all the gov’t cuts and confusion and chaos. Everyone here knows someone – or is someone – affected by these changes, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better… We’ve somehow managed to avoid a bulk of it so far (my wife is a proud – and hard working! – civil servant), however the walls are closing in which is sad as it’s her favorite job in the entire world and she’d be devastated having to walk away But we keep going and just do whatever we can within our control!

Aside from that, life is going pretty well. Our 3 boys continue to grow and be their silly little selves (who now care awfully a lot about clothes and brands and influencers – even my 7 year old!), and I’m still practicing retirement and failing pretty hard at it, haha… I “work” just as much now as I did before, though it is on my own time and for no pay, so I suppose it’s kinda like real retirement? :)

It’s been a blast though. I accidentally started a new project a few months back and it’s since taken a life of its own: A free clothing closet in my hometown, giving out clothes and essentials to anyone who needs it!

It mainly caters to our neighbors living on the streets and in the woods, but also a lot of our lower income families as well. We’ve given out over 10,000 items so far, from clothing to bikes to tents, sleeping bags, hats, shoes, feminine products, you name it.

It’s so different from running an *online* project where you’re sharing ideas worldwide and never see anyone face to face, compared to this one which is so hyper focused and only deals with physical products being shared IN PERSON! I even had to get back onto Facebook after a decade away as everyone in this town communicates there, lolol… Okay, well that and Instagram, but still. It’s like going back in time and having to unlearn a whole way of doing business

On one side it’s been great – the project is flourishing and there’s no end in sight, but on the other it hurts my heart as it only proves that there’s such a need for this in the community :( And not only mine, but probably yours too as well as all around the country/world! And it only seems like it’s getting worse with how things are playing out… Since when is food and clothing a nicety and not necessity?!

But oh well…  Can’t say I ever saw myself going into this line of business, lol, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s to keep going when you’re onto something and everything keeps flowing :) Whether that’s a new project or a relationship or even your finances. There’s something magical that happens when your passions align with your skills, especially if it happens to solve a problem in the world. So when the universe tells you you’re on the right path you keep pushing because you’re right where you’re meant to be at this point in time! It’s a beautiful thing!

So that’s what I’ve been up to over here!

And now gotta stop procrastinating and get back to work :) This presentation I have to put together is for a local organization who wants to donate a bunch of clothes – and hopefully money so I can get a sprinter van and turn this into a mobile closet! – and I need to convince them I’m not a psycho, haha…

If anyone wants to learn more about the closet, and/or wants to donate yourself (yes please!!), DM me and I’ll tell you more

In the meantime, I’ll try to get back to some sort of rhythm here on the blog! I should have more time as the kids start going back to school here over the next couple months…

If you’re new to the site and this is the first post you’re reading, hello!! Thanks for giving it a shot! :) You can check out “my story” here, and feel free to reach out anytime with questions or just to say hi. We usually do talk more about money than my personal life, haha, but it probably won’t be the last time either.

Have a fantastic week!

UPDATE: The presentation went fantastic!! I ended up just scrapping the whole powerpoint and just spoke from the heart (figures), but it was greatly received and opened up a door of future collaborations as well as free clothes and essentials for the community. So yay!

PS: That other project I’m helping my friend with is still moving forward (YouBots.ai), but proving to be more of a long haul than we thought. On the plus side, the Project of Me is still going strong!

PPS: Here are 3 fantastic books I’ve read recently if anyone’s interested:

• “The Happiest Man on Earth” by Eddie Jaku
• “The Tattooist of Auschwitz” by Heather Morris
• “10% Happier” by Dan Harris

*Links are Amazon affiliate links…

[This post, Hi!, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

Morning!

So in an attempt to become more minimalist over here – AND – raise a little money for my cold and hungry homeless friends, I’m tackling one of the hardest areas known to entrepreneurs:

OUR HORDE OF DOMAIN NAMES!!

Which, of course, are ALL awesome and worth MILLIONS of dollars if we ever get them off the ground, but as Derek Sivers is fond of saying – ideas are worth nothing unless executed ;) And, well, despite how much I’d love to execute on ALL of these I’m pretty sure if I haven’t done it in the past 10 years I never will…

But maybe YOU could use one of these?! Perhaps one of these domains is the missing puzzle to finally getting your own passion project off the ground?!

If so I’d love to make a deal with you today!! You donate some money to help replenish my Community Fund (that goes 100% to my poor – yet positive! – friends living on the streets) and I’ll give you a domain name of your choosing in return :)

It’s a win-win-win!!

Here are the domains up for the taking:

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#1) PFBloggers.com Gone! Enjoy it, Tom!

This is an old school one picked up during the Rockstar Finance days of 2013, and we were going to use it for our community’s first Blog Directory. We ended up merging it however with RF itself so it never became its own standalone site, but I’ve held onto it ever since just in case I wanted to build out another directory again… which sadly still doesn’t exist in our space, even after all these years :(

But maybe you could be the one to get one running again? :) It’s a perfectly direct name for one, right?

And interestingly enough, after plugging it into the Wayback Machine, I found it was actually at one time a home for financial creators back in 2008!

The Personal Finance Bloggers Network (PF Bloggers for short) currently consists of 7 blogs that write about personal finance and frugal living. We are not finance professionals but just normal people with goals for a life free of debt and worry.

How cool is that?  You might even recall some of the original founders of it if you’ve been around for a while:

• Wide Open Wallet
• Our Fourpence Worth
• No Debt Plan
• Master Your Card
• Living Almost Large
• Girls Just Wanna Have Funds
• Get Rich or Die Trying

I miss these guys… some of the founding fathers (and mothers!) of our industry!

*******

#2. PFChat.com

This was another domain we were going to use for the forums of Rockstar Finance (2014), but also got merged into one main hub… But what a short and sweet name for an online community??! Or even a portal or blog attached to a business or app or something in the financial space? It would certainly make for an easy to remember redirection url too, though of course in my opinion it’s strong enough to live on its own :)

This is gonna be the one that’s hardest to depart with as I still very much love the name and want to hold out hope that eventually I’ll make use of it!, but again if I haven’t touched it in 9 years then odds are I’m not going to…

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#3. MoneyLatte.com Now Gone!! Thanks, Jessica!

Okay – now this one is my favorite out of ALL my unused domains, and 100% what I’d build my next blog on if I ever needed to start a new one from scratch… Just think of all that organic traffic you’d get from talking about saving money on coffee ad nauseam!

But seeing how I ended up buying eliteedgemoney back for good, I don’t think I’d have the energy to manage another one, although I have been tempted with sharing short – quick – bites of finance to help people start their day better (similar to what caffeine does to you! Heyo!), so for that route this would make a perfect home, but again will I ever pull the trigger on it??! Probably not.

So it’s all yours if you want to steal my idea!! :)

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#4. DebtDrop.org

I love this domain so much too. And even dubbed one of our projects “Debt Drop” back in the day when I used to partner up with Melanie Lockert of DearDebt.com to share some love…

We used to go around anonymously paying off chunks of debt for people, and then picked up this domain in case we ever wanted to make it an “official” project. After 2-3 years we took a break, but alas I’ve been renewing it ever since and quietly holding my tears back as it sits there collecting dust

Out of all the domains this is the one I’d love to see someone take over the most and continue putting out GOOD in the world as we still need so much help out there, specially around debt. It’s so crushing to people!!

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#5. SquidpantsInternational.com

Now this one is *NOT* on the table, but oh how I wish it was…

Click it if you dare, but here’s what my biz partner Nate St. Pierre once publicly shared on Facebook:

******

“I don’t save things, and I’m not sentimental. Nor do I pay for things I don’t need.

BUT.

When Jay Money and I were doing our Love Drop national tour in 2011, we had to buy a URL for a new site we were building, and Jay had to help me with the name. For whatever reason he just wouldn’t do it, and I told him that if he didn’t give me his thoughts by the end of the day, I was just going to name it Squidpants International.

He didn’t, so I did.

I bought the URL and put up a picture I took of him that day buying a lottery ticket and telling me why he was too busy to help me with the name. What you see is the entire website.

Here we are, 13 years later, when I get my annual bill for renewing the URL, and I continue to pay for it, just because the joke still makes me laugh whenever I think about it. Also because it brings back many good memories of working together, stressing out, laughing a lot, and putting some love into the world

Happy website anniversary, you jackass.”

*****

So sweet, isn’t he?

What I should do is actually use one of these domains for a Spite Site a la Larry David so I don’t have to hear about this every year, haha, but seeing how I’m the nicer of the two I shall respectfully take the high road ;)

You sure are clever though, buddy!!

[Latte Larry’s]

*******

At any rate, that’s what we’ve got today! And I’m proud to state I haven’t bought a *new* domain name in years, and even more smartly – I no longer buy them while drunk!!

Let me know if you’d like any of these, and more importantly if you’d like to contribute to my Community Fund. It’s the toughest season out there for my friends on the streets, and I can promise that every last dollar goes directly to them because I’m the one who’s literally handing it to them! (Or buying them coffee/clothes/hotel rooms/etc)

Click this button to donate through Paypal (you don’t need a Paypal account to do so), or DM me on the side and we’ll find another way to make it happen. (I know I have a Venmo somewhere too…)

Have a most blessed holiday season if we don’t talk beforehand! We are all more fortunate than we even know, and it’s a good time to be thankful for that.

Your good pal and President of Squidpants International,

// Photo up top by Junior Teixeira via Pexels

[This post, Want one of these domain names?!, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

Got this note from a reader and been obsessing about it lately:

“I just wrapped up a 10 – 2 challenge. Here’s how it works – You work on a long term project for 10 minutes a day – every day – for approximately 2 years. The thing is, you have to work on the project every day. If you travel, you have to either improvise or do make up work for the days you missed. I even use a stopwatch to make sure I work on the project for a full 10 minutes. You’ll be amazed at what you accomplish!”

Love it! Super easy sounding, right?!

And if I whip out a calculator here, hold on one sec…  It looks like it actually adds up to… 7,300 minutes!! Or roughly 122 hours! WOW! Imagine dedicating that many hours to *one* single goal of yours? What would you be able to achieve?! How better off would you be? Physically/mentally/professionally?

It’s hard to fathom the number of things we let fall by the wayside just because they’re “too big” to start, so let this be the kick in the ass you need to actually GET GOING on a dream that you may be putting off. Or even just something annoying that really needs to get done but you know will take forever! Lol… Literally stop reading this right now and get going if you already have it in your head – I promise it’ll be better than reading the rest of this post

If nothing crosses your mind, let me throw out some ideas:

• Review your finances every day (expenses, credit cards, budget, net worth, subscriptions, insurance, credit score, credit report – plenty of things you could keep tabs on and improve)
• Declutter your entire house (each drawer, closet, *gasp* garage!)
• Get a new job/promoted (research, apply, improve skills)
• Get a new girlfriend/boyfriend/friend (same examples as above )
• Write a book! (might feel choppy with only 10 mins applied, but you’ll probably find you’ll spend more time once you’re “in the flow”)
• Start a passion project (blog, book, TikTok, coin collection!)
• Work out every day (go for a walk, go for a run!, lift some weights, do some yoga, play some basketball – you only have to do it for 10 mins!)
• Work out your mind every day (meditate, read, crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles! (Remember that time I got obsessed with them for like two months??! Man I went bonkers…))
• Study the bible (my friend who came up with this 10-2 idea did exactly this – used his time for the past two years to devour the bible and create a “spiritual warfare database!”)
• Weed/Garden/Landscape (after a month you’ll probably just be *maintaining* from that point on!)
• Learn a new language (Spanish? French? HTML?)
• Learn something else entirely new! (Programming, Video Editing, Baking)

The options are endless…

And I don’t care who you are, everyone can spare 10 mins a day towards something that’s important to them. The years are going to pass anyways, why not get something extra out of it with minimal effort?!

I found the perfect book too yesterday for tracking it all:

I scooped it up at Goodwill as a future gift to my sister (it was only $2.99!), but now I’m thinking I need to keep it for myself, lol…

But how perfect is this for tracking?! Each date has a small section to jot down quick notes, and they’re stacked on top of each other so every year going forward when you come back to the same date you can see the previous years’ notes on it. Which hopefully will keep you motivated and inspired!

Here’s an inside page so you can see exactly what I’m talking about… And yes, I just wrote in it so it’s officially mine

So you can see there’s a section there for each of the 5 years, so over time you’ll be able to reflect on the previous years’ successes and notes and you don’t have to keep getting a new journal :) In fact, you could even turn this into a 10-5 Challenge if you really wanted to! Haha… And I just found it on Amazon too in case you want one for yourself (currently $15):

One Line A Day: A Five-Year Memory Book

But really, you can use anything to track this – what’s important is just that you do! Use a Notes app, staple some blank papers together, or use a good old fashion Google Doc, it doesn’t matter – just track it however is most natural to you.

And as you’ll see, I’ve already started this challenge :) Which for me is to do *one thing a day* for someone, or some place, that helps them. I had been trying to get to a WEEK in a row of helping someone each day – and even pulled it off once (see the PS at the end!) – but if I could accomplish it for 2 YEARS straight that would be amazing.

And on Nov. 6th you’ll see Day #1 was completed! I gave a microwave to my friend Debbie whose old one just broke down (it had been sitting in my basement for 5 years!), and then I called my mother “just to check on her” and not to ask for something which is usually the case And since I had extra room there at the end, I made a note that we had won our league’s soccer championships (and I scored in it!), so that future me will be reminded of the feat a year from now.

Now some days I already know I’ll have trouble finding someone to help, or maybe not even be IN THE MOOD to help!, so on “off” days I’ll carve out the 10 minutes to simply strengthen my *mindset* overall, whether by reading or brainstorming or even by meditating – that way with each passing day I’m even more *conscious* about the mission. The more you practice doing something, the better you get at it right?! And we have 7,300 mins with this challenge so we’re gonna get GOOD!!

So yeah – I’m pretty stoked about this, and hopefully you are too :) Spend a few minutes thinking it over today, and then tomorrow get right to it and start tracking it all. It doesn’t matter if it’s something big or small or somewhere in between – just get crackin’ and feel good about it!

Remember – the time is going to pass anyways, so why not get something out of it? And I want to hear all about it!

PS: The one week I accomplished this!

• Day 1: helped serve a community dinner for our homeless friends
• Day 2: helped give out free food and veggies at our local food bank
• Day 3: gave a buddy of mine a haircut as he was low on funds, and also just really doesn’t like going to barbers! (And if you’re wondering, yes – I gave him a mohawk!! I can’t be trusted to cut anything else! )
• Day 4: helped my church archive old documents in their archives room – not only fascinating to hold and touch old artifacts, but to learn the overall process of *properly archiving* too!
• Day 5: helped a friend get a website off the ground and move her childhood dream further along
• Day 6: brainstormed marketing and fundraising ideas for a new garden opening up in our city
• Day 7: co-led an after church youth session – the scariest of all as a) I don’t know or fully understand the bible at all (!!), and b) pre-teen kids are so awkward and quiet and really don’t like to talk, haha… Though I did find a secret weapon: snacks!

It was a pretty fantastic week, but also exhausting… I’ll have to be careful of my energy levels and find ways to self-care throughout the next two years so I don’t accidentally burn out.

// Link to book is an Amazon affiliate link

[This post, The 10-2 Challenge, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

My kids have been complaining about their lack of funds lately, so I came up with an ingenious offer that I would have scooped up in a heart beat if I were a kid ;)

For every (clump) of dog poop you pick up from our yard, I will give you 50¢!

BOOM! One less task for me, and more cash for them – which should literally only take like 15 seconds. And where can you find an hourly rate like that as a kid?! You’d think this would have motivated them, but no. After two weeks and approximately 0 scoops my genius idea was proven to be not that genius at all

So I did what any good problem solver would do – I upped it to $1.00 a clump (DOUBLE the reward!!!). But sadly that didn’t fair much better either, clocking in with a total of just *1* scoop out of about 130 opportunities given… And that was only after me hinting there was a golden prize right next to their feet where they were playing!

So back to the beginning we were, with me in the fields again scooping away, and them very much still in want of money… Though if you ask me, if you can’t even bend over for a few seconds to earn some quick cash, do you actually really want it that bad? ;)

(As an aside, I’m writing all this on my phone right now in the middle of the gastrointestinal office awaiting my own colonoscopy results, haha… Poo is on the mind today!! UPDATE: I’m in the clear!  They found a polyp in there during the procedure, but apparently it was “the good kind” so I’m set to go for another 5 years – #Adulting)

After marinating on it for a while and trying to come up with a more enticing offer, we realized we’ve never officially implemented any type of “allowance” deal yet with our family. And perhaps now was just the time to enact one? Maybe the incorporation of  *timelines* and getting weekly paychecks would motivate them more?

Or maybe they just really don’t like poop, I dunno, but either way at 10, 9 and 5 it was high-time they start appreciating where money came from more. Especially if they’re gonna take over this blog one day ;)

I remember how important allowances were for ME growing up, even if I was only getting paid $1.00/week and all my friends made fun of me (!!!), but it was enough to give me a little freedom and push in the right direction. So I dug up an old wipey board from the basement and got to work…

Here’s what I came up with:

Each kid has one daily task to complete, and if they accomplish it – AND – keep up with their other general responsibilities like making their bed and cleaning up after themselves, they’ll be entitled to an allowance at the end of the week.

If, however, they only do a partial job in any area, they’ll then get a 1/2 check and too many 1/2 checks will result in less of an allowance at the week’s end. You’ll see Baby Dime up there already got one after a couple of days rockin’ it.

As for their pay? $3.00/week. BUT! This isn’t just any ordinary allowance, oh no. As recommended by my oldest son, Baby Penny, we’ll be following the concept from the book Three Cups by Tony Townsley*. A fantastic read that surprisingly all three of my kids love! And one that recommends splitting allowances into 3 equal parts:

• 1 cup for spending
• 1 cup for savings
• and 1 cup for giving

Thereby teaching kids the importance of all THREE, and getting those habits started early. Even stars like Angeline Jolie does this!! Though perhaps filling up their houses with cash instead of plastic cups And since my kids will be *manually* receiving and divvying up their cash each week vs digitally on a screen, hopefully it’ll all sink in even more too. I’ve already headed to the bank to get stacks of ones now that I’ll be turning into an ATM!

[live shot of me flipping through a stack]

I gotta give my oldest boy mad credit again for this. We were originally going to start their allowances at $2.00/week which they could do whatever they want with, but it was him who brought up the book and said he’d like to get a little more involved and give back. I almost cried and immediately changed it.

And as you can see, we’re off to a great start! Everyone is more or less doing their part each day, and I can already tell they’re taking it seriously and excited for what they can now do with their extra money. We’ll see how long it lasts, but for now I’m a proud dad, and I’d like to think a *smart* one too ;)

Hopefully the $$$ teachings of your kids are going well for you over there! If any of them are interested in scooping up poop, my $1.00/offer is still on the table!

Yours in daddying,

*I first read Three Cups when we did a giveaway for it here on the blog over 13 years ago – way before any of my kids were born or I even had to think about allowances! Highly recommend checking out if you’re going down similar adventures right now.

*Links to book are Amazon affiliate links

[This post, No go for the poop!, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

I recently found out that two acquaintances of mine both recently lost their jobs.

One was making OK money and lives close to paycheck-to-paycheck, while the other was making BANK and enjoys all the luxuries that come with that.

Now they’re both pretty stressed out about it, but one recently made an off-hand comment that the other will be having a much harder time dealing with it and feels his situation is much better. (They both know each other)

Wanna take a stab at which person said it? :) Friend A with less money but smaller expenses, or Friend B with a bigger income and inflated expenses?

You can probably guess having read this blog for a while, but it was Friend A – the one with less money! Which of course at first glance wouldn’t make sense – why would someone living paycheck-to-paycheck have an easier time with a job loss than someone making much more? – but as we all know, your *expected lifestyle* tends to play a much larger role emotionally than your state of finances.

Friend A is used to skimping by and has thus learned to craft a decent life around it (his actual words to me were “I’m used to living poor”), while Friend B, aka Mr. MoneyBags, is now used to a more high-flying life and will  have to figure out how to reign it all in now to sustain this lifestyle of his.

Of course, Friend B in theory should have much more stashed away and plenty of areas he could downsize in a pinch (the house, the cars, the “toys”), but again the emotional toll on it might be harder to swallow than the financial side – even if just temporarily. I’d also have to imagine it’s much harder to replace a high-paying job of that caliber than an entry-level one too?  So the strain could last quite longer for him than Friend A as well. So long, at least, as Friend A can still keep the lights on and food in the fridge!

Now, it’s entirely possible that we’re ALL wrong here, and Friend A just made the comment to make himself feel better because in either situation it blows! And now here we’ve got this blog post being published to thousands of people around the world dissecting a dilemma that none of us knows anything about, lol… (Which doesn’t stop it from still being fun, of course ;))

In either case, it’s interesting to ponder, and regardless of what side you find yourself on it’s good to KNOW YOURSELF first before one day maybe finding yourself in a similar position scrambling… As we all know, there is more to wealth than income, and the expenses side is a VERY large part of that. The lower expenses you have, the less you need to make and the quicker you get to FIRE! It’s not just about the income, gotta keep ALL the bases in check!

******

In other news…. *awkward transition*

Happy summer!! I hope y’all are living your Best Lives and enjoying some good time w/ your kiddos if you have any! (Sanity, that is, hah!).

That’s what I’ve been doing here lately, and thus my absence over the past few months…

I think last we connected I was starting my journey taking over grocery shopping, and while I’m still far from being a pro yet, I am proud to say it’s still going strong and everyone has food to eat every night   Though I’ll admit I still pick up more things than I’d like based on *convenience* rather than *price*. But maybe that’s OK now that I don’t have to watch every penny anymore? The perks of being good with your money for so many years?

Speaking of which, this blog turned 15 this year and I totally missed it! 15 years – crazy!!! Is anyone still here from the start of it? Or even the bulk of it, like when I used to call myself J. Savings???! Hahaha…. It’s wild looking back at all the changes in both the blog and my life the past decade and a half, but it’s cool we’re still here and hopefully at least a tinee bit wiser :) I love that y’all still pop in and say hi so we stay connected over the years – I hope you continue to do that! Friends for life, please!!

I’ve also been very much enjoying my volunteer work and starting to see it as a 2nd calling. After months of experimenting and figuring out “my place” with it all, I’ve finally carved out a nice position for myself at a local homeless shelter focusing on keeping everyone nice and clothed. Which in itself is pretty valuable, of course – clothes are important! – but I’m realizing more and more that it’s not just the *stuff* we help the unhoused with, but moreso it’s about letting them know they are respected and *SEEN*.

The other day I merely asked someone how they were doing, and their exact response back to me was, “It’s nice to hear voices.” That really hit me :( So many people are hidden away from society just trying to survive (and not get arrested!) so when they make the trek into our place they get to be “normal” again and surrounded by a community who values them. I think I genuinely now have about 7 new people I call a friend, and while some days are harder than others, it’s been an incredible journey so far.

And in that same vein of “being seen,” people also want to look and FEEL good too! Sure they’ll take anything that’s dry and fits them well, but man do they love CHOICE when given the option. Just as we do. They each have their own fashion style and will clamour for items that fit that as soon as they come into the door :) Last week I brought in a pair of Vans and some skinny jeans and they were taken out of my hands before I even PUT THEM DOWN on the shelves! It actually makes me want to set up some sort of fashion show or something where they can all dress up and strut down the runway rocking their styles as some sort of charity event. But I still don’t know enough about what’s “appropriate” and what’s not there yet so for now I just save my ideas to myself…

I’ve also learned how GENEROUS people are with their time and donations (some of the stuff people donate is nicer than anything I own!!) and also how everyone needs *belts* but they’re some of the hardest things to come by! So much so that the homeless end up just stripping the laces off the donated shoes and crafting their own makeshift belts right there on the spot… I see it at least twice a week, and that’s only on MY shifts! Such a simple – and cheap thing – a belt, but man can they be valuable…

(Speaking of shifts – my thesis on being able to come and go as you please once an organization knows you more def. stands true! I play nice and go through their system more or less each week, but I also just pop in and out when I feel like it too which as you know is my ultimate preference. Especially when you have kids in and out of camps all summer long!)

So needless to say, I’ve been getting more joy volunteering now than just sitting at the coffee shops or doing puzzles all day long, lol… so Phase I of being WifeFI’d is officially over, and now we enter a new one of more productiveness and purpose ;)

Now tell me what you guys have been up to! Anyone else getting into life changing things over there? Or perhaps some fun projects or vacations this summer?

My kids joined the swim team for the first time ever so we’ve basically been living at the pool when we’re all together ;) A whole other experience that I’ll save for another day, though I will say it’s finally nice to show off my tattoos as the only time they see the light of day is when my shirt is off, haha… So that’s something.

Okay bye for now.

[This post, What’s Worse?, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

Good morning!

So when I last left you, I had an epiphany that I should be giving back more (time-wise) but instead of doing it online like I tend to do, I wanted to test it out in Real Life and make better use of my mornings. You know, now that I don’t have a job ;)

But the question was – would it work out in the same way? Simply walking into places and asking if I can help them out for an hour or so? Or would they look at me like a total weirdo and reject me right back into the coffee shop?

Well, I tested it out and learned a TON in the process. Below are the results… (I still can’t believe I actually went through with this, haha…)

Attempt #1: The Community Nonprofit

As I left the coffee shop that morning, completely nervous to the bone, I crossed the street and serendipitously found a nonprofit that’s literally set up to give back to the community – perfect!!

They were closed for the day (womp womp), but I saw people milling about inside so I knocked anyways until one of them opened the door to see what this “character” wanted (or should I say, they “cracked” the door as they were definitely dubious of me!). I then muttered out my first attempt of my spiel:

“Hi! Uhh…… Do you need help with anything? Like, umm… I have a free hour? And I think I want to give back?”

(Total fail of communication, haha…)

“I am not sure exactly what you’re asking? How can I help you?” the gentleman responded, probably regretting he even came to the door

“Yes, sorry. I’d like to volunteer my time and wondering if your organization needs some extra help?” Much better!

“Oh, great. Hold on one moment, let me get you the card of our volunteer coordinator”. Minutes later he comes back with it and tells me to try again the next morning as maybe they will have something for me then.

“I sure will!” I replied, and off I scurried before I made an even bigger fool of myself.

Win for asking (I was so nervous!!) // Fail at helping… for now.

Attempt #2: The Sporting Goods Store

After striking out with my first try, I was determined to go again especially as the entire attempt above literally only lasted 4 minutes from start to finish. I walked down the street until I found a place that was open this time – a sporting goods store – and walked right in as fast as I could before changing my mind (it really is scary asking this!).

“Hello!” I happily greeted the two ladies at the register who were waiting for customers.

“I have a strange question for you.” I led with, hoping to set the tone better this time, haha… “Would you happen to need any extra help at the moment? I’m trying to give back to the community more and I have a free hour on my hands.” #NailedIt

The two ladies were dumbfounded, and turned to each other hoping that the other might have a good answer for me :) Unfortunately they didn’t, and we stood in awkward silence for a bit until one of them recommended I visit the nearby churches instead as they’re always looking for extra help. They admitted they’d never been asked such a question before (and didn’t need any help either), but loved that I was going around asking which gave me an extra bump of courage I needed to continue on.

“Oooh great idea, thank you!” I chimed back with. “And I love your store, btw.”

I realized I had just been in there weeks before buying a pair of sunglasses, and was glad to be offering my services to a place I actually liked! Not that it would stop me from volunteering there even if I didn’t, but it felt like I was on the right path even if I had now failed TWICE in a row, haha…

Another Win for asking / Another Fail at DOING.

Attempt #3: The Church!

Three times a charm, right? I took the ladies’ recommendation to heart, and walked further down the street until I came across a church. I walked in and found the business part of it and gave my more polished spiel again, throwing in a little flair and hoping to finally get a “yes.”

“Let me get this straight…” the kind church lady replied with her beautiful – stunned – eyes. “You have a free hour from your kids, and rather than spend it at a coffee shop reading and relaxing all morning you’d rather spend it with us helping out?”

“That’s exactly what I’d like to do!” I responded with, laughing a bit to myself realizing how different my goals are now from just a few months ago…

“I can think of 3 things we can use your help with” she came back with.

“1) You can help answer our phones (perfect – I used to be a customer service manager!), 2) you can help prepare and move all the food we give out every week to our less fortunate friends (also my speed! I can help while giving my muscles a work out at the same time!), and 3) if you’re willing to hop in your car, we always need help picking up the food that local restaurants donate to us (not a problem at all – I can listen to music while I drive!).”

“Is any of this something you’d be interested in?” she wraps up with, still rather cautiously.

“YES!!! To all three! Let’s do it!” I excitedly shout back, can’t believing it’s working now!

“Great! Let me take down your info and will have a coordinator get back with you to get the ball rolling….”

D’oh…

Another Win for asking, but another Fail yet again at the actual doing… at least for now.

Takeaways So Far…

Okay, so up to this point I’ve come to realize a few things:

1) It’s MUCH harder to do stuff *on the spot* than I originally hoped for. Looks like I’ll have to tone down my expectations a bit and account for some “intro/organization” time, at least for those organizations like churches that have their own systems in place.

2) While time will still tell, I think I was more successful with future volunteering because 2 of the 3 places I stopped by were charity-related where it’s more “normal” to volunteer at. It’s going to be a much bigger challenge if I want to help out at regular stores and such like the sporting goods one, just ‘cuz it’s so out of the ordinary. But I’m not giving up on it yet!

3) You can always guess at what will happen with your projects/ideas, but you really don’t know how the world will respond until you actually put yourself out there. I could never have guessed those 3 things the church needs help with, nor that they’d all be up my alley!

4) It’s MUCH more exciting testing stuff in real life than in your mind :) You can do all the thinking you want, but none of it actually matters until you DO SOMETHING about it. This very much applies to your finances and career too.

5) Lastly, getting your money straight allows you to have such freedoms to experiment in this world! As soon as I came back from testing this, I immediately opened up my notepad app on my phone and furiously took notes. Here’s the first thing I wrote and probably the most impactful:

This is the epitome of what money affords you – TIME. Time to spend time with your loved ones, time to work on your passions, time to work on yourself, or time to do whatever it is your heart is requesting of you in that moment.

This day it happened to be around giving back and experimenting, but other times it’s been all about the leisure or spending time with the fam or even being consumed by puzzles ;) But it’s all a result of getting your MONEY down first!

******

So all the above occurred during the *first* day of experimenting, and in the days since I have tried a number of more times with somewhat better results. If you’ll allow it, I’d like to highlight two more attempts that have both solidified my hope with this project :)

Attempt #4: Back to the Community Nonprofit!

I wasn’t really feeling it the next morning (the doubt started creeping in) but I pushed myself anyways and as always I was proud of doing so in the end. Again, because half the battle is just showing up!

I went right back to that original organization when they opened the next day per the gentleman’s advice, and was quickly immersed into such a new experience it was like an out of body experience… Below are my notes from it which I’ll just copy/paste here since it expresses it pretty well.

******

– Went back to [redacted] as previous day’s guy advised, and a gaggle of homeless(?) people were hanging around the front door, as well as a group who stopped by to drop off backpacks of goodies for them.

– Super nervous and eyes watering (worst timing ever – why does it only happen when I’m nervous?!), but mustered up the courage and waited in line in front of a makeshift booth to offer my services.

– Whole place smelled and looked funny, but also filled somehow with so much joy and love too? I immediately felt part of a community. Also had no idea how much they do there! Overheard conversations about taking showers and saw someone getting help with job-related stuff with a volunteer behind a computer. I get the sense they do FULL help all around and not just food or donations – so cool.

– A look of confusion as usual when I said I have an hour to assist, which is weird since its run by volunteers?, but the lady went back to talk with someone and said I could help fit all the incoming backpacks into storage if I’d like. Great!!! My first task!! And my first problem(s) too, haha…

– There was a line of people blocking the hallway waiting to get into the storage, and when we walked in it was completely dark and none of us could find the light switch. Eventually the leader of the group did, who was a homeless volunteer I’d guess*, and then we were ready to stack. Only the said leader started doing it for everyone so I basically just stood there like a big idiot doing nothing waiting for everyone to be done. When the dust settled and everyone was out, I reorganized everything though which I thoroughly enjoyed!, but also knocked some stuff over in the midst of it all so had to re-organize that too, haha… But first mission complete no less!

(*The leader of the group asked if he could have one of the backpacks on his way out, and I told him I wasn’t sure as I’m a new volunteer, but he said he’s taking it anyways and I replied, “go for it dude” as it seemed he needed it!)

– Went back to ask what else I can do now that I beautifully arranged their storage cubby, haha, but that was all they had for me :( Said some days are overwhelming and need all the help they can get, and others not so much.

– Was in and out within 8 minutes- wild!

– I asked what “things” they need more of before I left, like food or clothing or something, and she rattled off a list: clothes, shoes, toiletries, razors, and especially underwear. Of all sizes and sexes. Particularly boxers for the men.

– A homeless(?) guy in the corner chimed in with “except for me! I prefer thongs!” and all of us erupted in laughter. Couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. I kinda feel like he was ;) Also found it ironic as I’m on day #7 of wearing NO underwear right now!! (an experiment for another day)

– I finished up chatting with the volunteers, and on the way out the jovial, round, toothless, thong guy yelled out, “don’t forget my thongs! I like them pink!” and I died laughing again.

– I think this experiment is going to do me a lot of good :)

********

So I finally DID something!!! YAY!!! It wasn’t at all what I was expecting (not that I was expecting anything in particular?), but it got the ball rolling and I’ve since been back a number of times donating whatever I can find for them.

Which turns out I’m really good at! I’m always finding deals on stuff and running into people with boxes of overflowing things from their overstuffed houses/etc. Now I just funnel it all to one main place there which distributes it to those who can most benefit from it! (And they are fast, sometimes they turn around and give the items out while I’m still standing there!)

But the biggest takeaway of all this is that there are *opportunities* to help allllll around us if we’re brave enough to keep our eyes open for them. Not necessarily by just walking up to places and randomly asking them to help like the dummy I am, haha, but by *noticing* the people around us too who might not be as blessed in life as we are.

I’ll give you one last experience I just had that completely made my day, and reminded me once again that I can do more if I just make more of an effort.

Opportunity #5: “Lizzy”

I met Lizzy (not her real name) 4 days ago on the streets, with no home and nowhere to go. Rounding 60 years old she came up to me asking for a few bucks like many in her position do to keep surviving, and of course I obliged per my rules of “always having to say yes” and “give the biggest bill in your pocket so it stings!”

I happily gave her a $20 and tears immediately started welling up in her eyes. “Gosh” I thought…”This $20 means nothing to me but is everything to her!!”

I then went about my day as normal…

Two days later I ran into her again, and it was just starting to rain/sleet and I had to consciously choose whether to stay put and chat with her or to run to my warm cozy car which I wanted to do SO BAD!!! But something forced me to stay right there and strike up a conversation as if it was something we both needed, but for different reasons.

And then we chatted… and chatted….. and chatted.

We stood there in the rain for a good hour laughing and learning all about each other and it completely made my morning. I learned she had some kids of her own, once owned a nice house and car/etc, and just genuinely seemed like an overall beautiful person. Of course I WANTED to find out what happened to leave her in such a miserable position, but I didn’t pry and chose to listen instead.

The whole time I just stood there and did my best to let it all sink in and really “feel it” instead of blocking it out and moving on with life as many of us tend to do. I stopped thinking of my damn warm car and how wet I was getting and just sucked it up for an hour as this poor lady will be drenched the entire day so who the hell am I to complain?!

My heart went out to her so much. Maybe because it was her, maybe because I was in a time of my life where I could pay attention more, or maybe it was just something else totally unrelated. All I know is that it hit me hard and I felt like we were genuinely going to be friends from that point forward.

I also learned she had just had most of her stuff stolen and had been wearing 3-day old clothes as the remaining items of hers were completely soaked from past days of rain! She was literally down to her only pair of underwear and hasn’t taken a shower in almost a week!  SO DIFFERENT THAN THE LIVES WE LIVE!!!

But I think it hit me most when she said she just wanted to brush her hair but the same asshat stole that too, as well as her purse which held all her IDs (annoying enough to replace even when you have a home and money!). I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and all I thought was to just give her the biggest hug I could which I did. Twice.

We then parted ways and I made it my mission that day to fill up a bag full of warm goodies specifically for her.

I jumped in my car and went straight to Walmart, Goodwill, and the grocery store and picked up everything I thought she could mostly use like new clothes, underwear, and of course a hairbrush.

And even going through these stores with my new knowledge was completely eye opening to me. There was so much superfluous stuff at these places – particularly at Walmart!! – with half the stuff being worthless on the streets. I love me some fashion, but damn – half the clothes were midriffs or super thin or had a million holes in it! And other amenities we’re so accustomed to having requires electricity which of course does you absolutely no good in their daily lives…

It was like I was in the twilight zone and I actually started feeling a bit nauseous thinking about it all. Eventually I snapped to, and continued on with my plan…

Here’s what I came up with!

[Notice the muted colors of the backpack to easier hide from thieves! She literally has to stash her belongings in bushes around town, ugh…]

[I took the first picture, and then realized I had forgotten a few things so went back to collect some more… The fanny pack I thought was a brilliant idea from my wife so she can keep the most important stuff on her!]

Then the next day I patrolled the streets, found where she was hanging out, and gave her the bag as well as another big hug.

I didn’t stay long enough this time to see how helpful they all were (I also included some snacks, a notebook and pens, and other little goodies) but I could tell she was touched. And so was I.

It was the first time in my life I ever did something like this and it felt amazing. And personal, and direct, and *took effort* rather than just opening up my wallet again! (Which of course is still helpful, but it was nice to have an *arsenal* of ways to help now going forward). She was the best thing to happen to me all week.

Win for paying attention to the opportunity // Win for executing on the opportunity!!!

*******

So yeah, what a whirlwind! All within a week that would have otherwise just been so terribly normal!

And to think this all happened because I took out a pen and paper and just let my brain flow out… That quote was legit:

“When you’re stuck, just sit down with a notepad and start writing… your brain has things it wants to say even if you don’t know what they are.”

Indeed it does…

I hope you found something helpful here, and remember – you can NEVER go wrong taking action on your ideas. You might not get the response you’re looking for, but it’s an automatic Win the second you stop thinking and start *doing*. It might change your life in more ways than you think.

XOXO,

PS: Here’s part I of the story that instigated all this: When you’re stuck, just write…

UPDATE: I’ve now finally found my place in the volunteer world! Check it out. (Scroll down to the middle)

(Shout out to Impersonal Finances for reminding me that this quote came from the new Jonah Hill documentary, Stutz! A beautiful movie on it’s own!)

[This post, Operation Give Back IRL: The Results!, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

I read a quote recently that said something like,

“When you’re stuck, just sit down with a notepad and start writing… your brain has things it wants to say even if you don’t know what they are.”

If I had read it last week I probably would have laughed as it sounds so ridiculous, haha, but interestingly I experienced exactly this the other day and it completely changed my trajectory :)

I had arrived at the coffee shop as I always do in the morning, but rather than crack open another book or laptop or any other number of ways to occupy myself, this day I wasn’t feeling any of it. Instead, I sat there with coffee in my hands, bored, wondering what to do with myself. Then, randomly, something inside me said to just take out a pad of paper and start writing… anything at all. I opened up my bag to pull out an old pad of paper, and scrawled up at the top was:

“CHANGE IT UP.”

I must have written it over a year ago based on the notes around it, but I immediately started nodding my head and giving my past self some mad credit…

“Yes!! You said it, J$!”

“That’s exactly what I need to do right now: change it up! You are The Man!!” lol…

I flipped to a fresh new page and began writing whatever flowed out of my head not knowing where it would lead… (remember that quote above??)

Here’s what I ended up with:

The first chunk of ideas my brain pushed out centers around “learning” more and jobs I’ve always thought were cool, then moves to more fun/hobbyesque/mission-centered ideas, and then eventually to the essence of what I believe my heart was *truly* telling me to do more of in that instant: put more GOOD into the world.

Interestingly I had just spent an hour helping people online the day before, and it seems my brain was trying to bring it back up yet again despite me not being smart enough to catch it on my own ;)

I then tried to focus on my main superpowers, to help narrow it down more. This resulted in the following:

Time. Curiosity. People. Wow… I had never described myself like that before! And the more I reflected on it, the more true it felt in this current season of my life. I do have a lot of free time on my hands right now for the first time in, well, ever. And I AM super curious no matter what we’re taking about! And then of course I just love people… even the haters, bless their hearts.

It also made more sense then as to why I like to tweet out when I have a free hour and ask if anyone needs help with anything. Something about the immediate impact of helping people, coupled with never knowing *exactly* what I’ll be working on is so oddly alluring. And let me tell you, randomly throwing out these questions brings out some fascinating requests, haha…

Here are a few of them from last week:

• “Do I drive the old car or the new car for normal use? Old car is on its last legs but gas is cheaper for it (grade and mpg).”
• “I haven’t had a job interview in 10 years, but I have one today at 5:15 p.m. Any advice from experience on interviewing? Specifically, is there a weird question that you have been asked in an interview?”
• “Any tips on connecting with other people who are enthusiastic on making money online/sidehustles? I’m in a group with bunch of entrepreneurs but the owner is always “too busy with my business” to post content for us and I don’t have anyone in real life who isn’t content with a 9-5.”
• “Tips for my website? Still learning but having fun with it :)”

I’ve also been asked to help cheer people up in the past, offer guidance with their investments, or even give movie recommendations (my two faves currently are “The Swimmers” on Netflix and “The Pez Outlaw“). Of course, I’m far from being an expert on any of these, but I do make it my mission to fulfill these requests the best I can and it’s always so fun and rewarding.

It also got me thinking…

What would happen if I did this in real life?? Like, what if I just rolled up into places and told them I have an hour to spare and would like to help them with whatever they need right now? Would it work? Would I be similarly fulfilled? Would they laugh and point and think I’m a psycho?

My online friends of course trust and know me well, but to the rest of the world I’m a total stranger… and one with a mohawk at that, which does me no favors at all here, lol…

But the second I got this in my head I became enthralled with it and came up with all the reasons I should try it. It looked like this (I’ll spare you the chicken scratch this time):

• Easy way to volunteer fast
• No pressure for anyone!
• No clue what I’ll be working on, which is exciting
• Get to meet a ton of new people!
• 100% flexible (I can offer my free help anytime I want, 24/7 – or not!)
• If it sucks, I’ve only committed one hour (and if I’m enjoying myself I can keep going!)
• Great way to give back to my community I love so much
• Don’t think it’s ever been done before? I can start something new?
• I get to learn a lot!
• It’ll give me more courage (I’m social, but also SUPER shy)
• It’ll forever be a “story” I can tell
• It’s a fun experiment!

Then of course, it could very much fail:

• People probably won’t trust me or even believe me?
• They’ll think I’m weird or up to something, haha…
• They’ll probably give me $hit work to do!
• Also maybe a liability issue on their side?
• I’ll probably have to go through proper training or paperwork or something first?
• Maybe an hour won’t be long enough to help…
• They’ll just say no and it will be a huge waste of time…

(I quickly crossed out that last one because I don’t think you can EVER go wrong acting out of love, even if you’re rejected… Just asking to help makes it a WIN right out the gate no matter what the answer is! Which is another reason to try it out!)

I stared at these notes for around 20 seconds and immediately had two thoughts:

1. THIS is what I was called to do right now in my life… It all makes so much sense!!
2. No more *thinking* and writing down lists. Go out right now and TAKE ACTION.

I was so moved that I packed up my bag, walked out the front door of the coffee shop, and headed straight to the first place I saw before I had a chance to change my mind… And holy $hit was I scared!!!!

I’ll tell you all about what happened next…

Tomorrow ;)

UPDATE: Tomorrow is here: Operation Give Back IRL: The Results!

XOXO,

PS: Here were some of the “pitches” I drafted up during my brainstorming session…which completely went out the window once I opened up my mouth

“Hello! Y’all need help with anything? I’m working on volunteering more and have a free hour.”

“Hi! Question for you – I’m on a mission to volunteer and give back more to the community and I love your shop. Is there anything I can help you with? I have a free hour.”

“Hi! Question for you – I’m trying to give back to the community more and I have a free hour. Is there anything I can help y’all with?”

[This post, When you’re stuck, just write…, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

Goooooood morning my beautiful and overly intelligent budgeters!

I hope your pockets – and hearts – are full today, and you’re ready to do something fun with me :)

If you’re a follower of my personal newsletter you’ll know we recently re-launched our giving project (GivingCards.org) and in celebration of it I’ll be handing out $20 cards to five of you who want to go out and Do Good in your community!

What the heck are Giving Cards you ask?!

And is it free money?

Yes it is 100% free money, and yes it is the coolest way to create some unexpected joy in someone’s life! Because it comes from YOU and you’ve put some thought into it! Though technically they’re literally just pre-paid debit cards loaded with $20 on them

Followers of Rockstar Finance and All-Star Money last Xmas might recall this project (we’ve given over $13,000 worth of cards so far!), and while it’s always been a fun side thing we’ve done attached to one of our larger projects, it’s now officially it’s *own* stand-alone project with hopes of it becoming more sustainable over the years.

Take a peek here! –> GivingCards.org

I’ll be taking a lesser role this time around and mainly helping out as an advisor to it, but it’s being led my best friend/biz partner, Nate St. Pierre, who originally came up with this idea for me years ago, and whom long term followers will remember from the Love Drop days circa 2011! We’re bringing back ALL the projects from the past decade! Lol…

What I love about this one though, is that even though it’s about money, it really isn’t at the end of the day…

It’s more about getting people to stop and *think* about how big of a difference they can make without actually needing that much money at all.

We’ve seen people take these cards and turn them into impactful ways of helping people at their church, their library, in their local neighborhoods and schools, and even people they didn’t know but found out were struggling in their lives. We’ve even seen recipients of this Good turn around and then pay it forward to someone less fortunate than them! Even though they can barely spare a dollar!

It really is such a beautiful concept, and super proud to be a part of it all these years. You can see some of the creative things people have done with only $20 here: givingcards.org/stories

And then here are all the ways you can participate with us if it speaks to your heart!

• Support the project financially (patreon.com/givingcards)
• Volunteer a skill of yours (email me!)
• Bring the idea to your business/job to do an event with us (work with us!)
• Share it across your social channels/newsletters to help get the word out

And then lastly: grab a $20 card to Do Good!! (givingcards.org/budgets-are-sexy)

We’ve set aside 5 Cards just for eliteedgemoney readers, so be sure to really think of how you could use these for maximum good so you have a better shot of receiving one.

Our goal is to ultimately have an *unlimited* amount of cards to give out once we’re more fully funded (the community funds 100% of the cards), but for now we’re scrappy and just doing the most Good we can with what we have :)

If you’re interested in one of them, fill out this form here and you’ll be entered for it! As well as future cards we give out if you’re not selected this time around…

I hope you’ll join us!

It really doesn’t take much to make an impact in someone’s life. Sometimes we just need a little prompting

Learn more about Giving Cards here: GivingCards.org

XOXO,

UPDATE: Cards have now been given out! Thank you for all who submitted! If you didn’t happen to get one this round, we’ve put you on our list for future ones And remember – you can always do this at any point on your own which I hope you do!

[This post, Create Unexpected Joy 🤍, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

Question time:

Once you’ve “made it” with your finances, how do you treat yourself? How do you use your money to improve your life even more?

That’s a question my old friend Romeo posed after some fun back and forth on Twitter on what our “dream home” would look like (his would include an indoor basketball court, mine would be a personal skate park attached to a pool (with water) I could fly into!) but it quickly got real fast when a mutual friend, Kate, stepped in.

Romeo and I were of course just thinking about ourselves and enjoying our spoils we’ve worked so hard for (and nothing wrong with that! “If you can’t buy a toy or two,” he chimed in with, “what’s the point of saving?”), but Kate’s gut response hit me where it counts:

“Money lets me show up” – BAM.

Five simple words that encompass the true beauty of financial freedom. The ability to stop what you’re doing and help others right on the spot without having to worry about your job or money holding you back. True freedom at its best, harnessing the power of your *time* over the power of your money!

These words hit me hard, and after I got over myself for feeling bad for also not thinking of the greater good first!, haha, I realized I’m actually not doing too bad in that department either… In fact, my generosity has increased approx. 37x compared to the Old J$ who was once as stingy as he was good looking, if you can believe that ;)

A great example of this is what went down last week when I ran into a skater friend at the coffee shop who was looking particularly low…

He explained that he had just put brand new wheels on his skateboard after scrounging for the money, and then a mere 24 hours later it was stolen from him after stashing it at the skate park.

Now just the fact he had to hide it there added to my hypothesis that he may be homeless or transitory or something as I’ve also seen him brush his teeth at the coffee shop before as well as make some makeshift soup with his cup, but regardless it’s a blow to your wallet and mood either way.

And it broke me.

Losing a board sucks on its own, but to lose something that gives you such a great mental and physical outlet too for someone who needs it the most? Which also probably doubles as your transportation at times? Damn.

I immediately started racking my brain on how I could help, and at first thought maybe I could just leave some money at the local skate shop or something so that whenever he’s there next he’ll be alerted someone comped it for him, but when and how long that would take was anyone’s guess (probably too long since he doesn’t have money to spend, so why would he even step foot in it?) so I scrapped that idea and kept thinking…

Then it dawned on me – I have a board in the back of my trunk! Which I always keep for emergencies! Lol… And if this doesn’t constitute an emergency, what does? :) So without thinking a second more I slipped out of the coffee shop, scooped it from the back of my trunk, and then skated back as I recorded a final “goodbye” ride with her before we departed

He refused it a couple of times – only re-enforcing the fact that he deserved it! – and then finally accepted it graciously and promised me he’d “ride the $hit out of it” which was exactly what I wanted to hear.

What a feeling!

Now I’ll admit a few minutes later I did have pangs of regret as it was actually one of my favorite boards and cost me $200, haha, but just the fact that I had multiple boards was exactly why I needed to step up and help. Because *I could*. And because a 3rd board to someone is nothing compared to NO board, particularly if you don’t even have a home or place to store it in (!)

Anyways, long story I probably could have made shorter, but another example of how having your money straight can help you “show up” for others just like Kate and her presence. And another reminder that opportunities are all around us too if we keep our eyes open enough to see them! Something I’ve personally been working hard to improve on in my own life, as again, past J$ was way too into himself and his money to have even noticed, sigh…

So thanks for the reminders Kate! And looking forward to playing some one-on-one at your new court some day, Romeo ;)

How do you guys use money to improve your own lives or those around you? Are you more generous with your time or your money?

Share in the comments below and keep these good vibes going!! We can all give back whether we’ve “made it” it or not!

XOXO,

PS: Here are some of my “giving rules” I’ve implemented over the years to help me become much better with this stuff because I’m naturally not. Maybe they’ll help you too?

• I have to say “yes” anytime someone asks me for money, no matter what! (Automatically makes me Do Good, and one less decision I have to make!)
• When I give, I always have to give more than I instinctively want to in order to challenge myself (ie. instead of my usual $1.00 that first comes to mind, I have to give a $5 or $10 or *gasp* $20 if I have one in my wallet!)
• And then lastly, I continue to do monthly donations of $20/mo to all my favorite – mostly local – organizations and friends’ causes… I’m up to about 13 or 14 places now which adds up over time, but since they go out in smaller amounts each month I barely notice them. Very similar to recurring investments or savings! Set it up once, and then never have to remember or lift a finger again! It’s beautiful!

[This post, “Money lets me show up.”, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

Merry Christmas Eve, Friends!

Before you set off on your fun-filled weekend of spoiling one another with presents and delicious meals… check out this video about what kids really want for Christmas.

This 2-min video came out ~5 years ago, so some of you may have seen it already. It’s called “The Other Letter”, made by IKEA Spain.

**Fair warning: Get a box of tissues ready! I bawled my eyes out – and I’m not even a parent yet!**

The Other Letter

In the video they used 10 families for an experiment…

First, they asked the children to write a letter to Santa Claus listing all the things they wanted for Christmas. The kids listed big items like guitars, pianos, and toys… typical big presents that most children want at Christmastime.

Next, the children were asked to write a second letter… This time, to their parents. Same as the Santa letter, but this time they were asking what they would want from their parents for Christmas. And this is where the kids’ answers got really interesting.

For the most part, kids just want love, time and attention. They want you to be there for them, experience things with them, and play with them.

Presents are great. But spending quality time with family is the most precious thing in the world. 

Let’s not forget that this weekend. :)

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas,

Love, Joel

[This post, What Kids Really Want for Christmas, was first published by 5am Joel on Elite Edge Money]