Comments on: Do you make more than your spouse? How is it going for you??

By: J. Money

J. Money — Tue, 26 Mar 2019 21:41:00 +0000

In reply to Beau Humphreys. Amen, brother! And congrats on little Henry!! What an old-school but beautiful name!

By: Beau Humphreys

Beau Humphreys — Tue, 26 Mar 2019 11:20:57 +0000

My wife is a pharmacist so basically a year after we met, when she was done her residency and started making real pharmacist money, she was making more than I was at my job in the music business in tour finance. And I’m 5 years older than she is.

And now she’s in medical school and is going to be a doctor so it makes sense that I’m the one that will be the stay-at-home dad (like yourself), when she goes back to med school in the fall. Right now we’re enjoying both being at home with our new baby, Henry, born February 1.

I’ve never had any issue with this. I honestly do not understand the patriarchy at all and especially the archaic idea that one person should make more than the other. Let’s just make what we make and enjoy our lives without getting caught up in ridiculous ideas of what gender should do what.

By: J. Money

J. Money — Mon, 25 Mar 2019 18:16:54 +0000

In reply to Anonymous.

Daaaaamn this was great!!

SUCH awesome info here and thoughts – thank you!

YES to that communication and background stuff, wow… I’m seeing it more and more in my own household too now that I’m at home more and seeing my wife still do things like laundry and cook and kid stuff on top of working, etc while a lot of it I obviously can do and *have* started doing now… (for example I’m now The Laundry Person during the week and my wife LOVES it! Even though I feel like it’s such a minor thing?!)

I’m still working on the cooking department and have contributed a little, but def. need to up my game there. And while I don’t *make* the appointments for the kids, I am the one that now takes them everywhere most times so I know that at least helps out…

Still, I come from the exact same background as your husband does so I know it’s about breaking old views and making new habits… Which thankfully I’m always up to just being a curious person in general :) Not that I always *enjoy* it, haha, but at least I’m game to it!

Anyways, awesome awesome stuff, thank you for taking the time to write this. Especially knowing now everything else you’re doing for your family!! Super Mom over there!

By: J. Money

J. Money — Mon, 25 Mar 2019 18:08:53 +0000

In reply to Claire WantLess.

That’s a good idea :) Or really *any* idea you come up with as it shows you’re conscious about things and only want whats best for you guys! Which is the key to relationships! I’m sure she’s so proud of you for ramping it up too – well done :)

By: J. Money

J. Money — Mon, 25 Mar 2019 18:07:23 +0000

In reply to Tre. I used to LOVE watching my parents get dressed for military balls growing up :) Always sounded so romantic!

By: Christine

Christine — Mon, 25 Mar 2019 05:39:50 +0000

Its a different topic to talk about relationship then talk about money but when you are already married there’s no escaping and these two will be a huge part of your relationship. Me and my husband doesn’t have issues with this, we just share and make sure that we get to keep both our combined finances on track.

By: Claire WantLess

Claire WantLess — Sun, 24 Mar 2019 17:28:04 +0000

We’re a two-woman household, so I guess that has a benefit in that neither of us is socially expected to make more money than the other :-) I’ve just started earning more than my wife for the first time (about a third more) and it does mean we’ll have to make some adjustments – both practically and mentally. We’ve always split everything 50-50 but I’m conscious that she now struggles to do this. We’re still figuring things out, but one solution I’m toying with is using my extra income to ‘even out’ times in the past when she was doing well and I was in a pile of debt. For instance, she put down the deposit on our house, when we bought this place. Perhaps I can save up the same amount and pay a chunk off the mortgage now?!

By: Tre

Tre — Sun, 24 Mar 2019 11:41:27 +0000

I think other people’s assumptions can be the most challenging. For example, one year my company sponosored the military ball and I had to host a table with several high ranking officers. Mr. Tre came as my +1 and wore his uniform. He spent the entire evening hearing “Sgt. are you sitting at the correct table?” It was a little awkward, but he laughs about it now.

By: J. Money

J. Money — Fri, 22 Mar 2019 18:14:49 +0000

In reply to Samantha.

I’m sorry it’s so hard at times :( But I do hope you know that you’re not a bad person deep down!! “Drive” can be an incredibly powerful factor!! Maybe he – or anyone else you end up meeting/coupling with later – will find their drive in other areas of life vs career? Like maybe in passions or philanthropy or something? I’m totally with you though on wanting to be with a like-minded/driven person. It saddens me when people are just “there” and not adding value to other people or places/things/etc… Hopefully they *are* happy though even if we don’t understand it! ;)

By: J. Money

J. Money — Fri, 22 Mar 2019 18:08:28 +0000

In reply to Mary Ann Marriott.

Yes, I would imagine it would be hard to go back to a 9-5 after so much time off, haha… Have you sent him any of our Side Hustle posts before?? Maybe something there will excite him? :)

https://eliteedgemoney.com/ways-to-make-money/

Totally understand the “weird” factor with asking for money/giving allowances though, and was about to suggest just that – having “mad money” to spend each! Hopefully he’ll get a nice side gig going though to pump it up to his liking :) I imagine it’s been pretty hard on you bearing all that weight on the income side as well – even though it as a mutual decision. Very interesting to see so many different paths and dynamics here on this post over the days… Thanks for adding to it :)