A sub is party that like to be controlled and and dom is the opposite. To be controlled means including to be financially controller. Since money is consider a very important and delicate things, thus giving it free to your ” Goddess” who will use it for her own personal pleasure ( including spending it with her boyfriend) without giving anything back to you that is ” rewarding” in normal manner, will give a sense of humiliation for the sub who like this kink.

There are many professional dominatrix who give this service ( findom service). The professional and the legit one are actually fine, since their will work withhin the boundary and with sane ( which is part of the holy grail of BDSM; safe sane consesual), so they wont try to make their sub broke and eventually danger their life. And i have mentioned before, this sub mostly expect something in return eventually. This can be in form of interaction. While the interaction of course in “negative” way if being viewed from vanilla perspective, such as being insulted as pathetic, worm and other humiliating word. The bottomline is the sub like to be degraded by the impression that they are just lowly slave that can only pay to interact with beautifull Goddess, which is eventually only get mockery and humiliation by their Goddess. I think that is at least reward that should be give by thi Findom Mistress for receiving the tribute.

However since this findom seemed a very easy money, there are lot of instadomme that trying to be a findom. Most of them are actually do not really like or even understand the concept of BDSM. They just like the money and feel that findom can be good source of lazy money. Some of the are even being aggresively demand money randomly by chatting first, which is i believe have been mentioned by comment above, ruined the power exchange dynamic.

Some are just too lazy. They even dont bother to give proper interaction and just post some photos and make a ‘only fans’ account that have no content and just asking for tribute. It is like paying tax really. For me why dont use just pay tax and imagine that you are paying for a findom.

Speaking of imagination, the worst of all is the fake account. So they just put some other person photos and pretend to be her/ him. And lure the unfortunate sub to tribute to them.

I am personally dont really interested in findom, since i dont have the spare money to do so, and i have financial responsibility to the family. While i am a submissive and love the other bdsm activity which is have a least ‘interaction’ in it.

Since in BDSM we believe the real punishment for a slave is to be ignored, while the other punishment such as whipping or humiliation are actually reward to them. And of course i am personally seeking this other punishment, because if not why even bother.

Not weird or awkward. My bf is okay with me doing it but doesn’t want anything to do with it. Sometimes subs will send me embarrassing photos or videos, I show him and we get to laugh about it together. Yet some fetishes go “too far” for him. He then gets embarrassed and awkward about it. I think it turns him on sometimes and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. Now in days, there ARE findoms (guys) whereas the findommes are the ladies. I’ve seen subs being male or female. Of course, Transexuals have their place as either a dom or a sub.

It’s not sad, it is a market driven job like anything else. It is like any form of BDSM. It is about control. Many men have the fantasy of being dominated. Financial domination as a fetish is a little misunderstood. Yes there are those that get off on the money aspect. For most men into this though, they are into the domination and control. The financial domination part, they take as a price of doing business. A realtime Dominatrix charges around $250-350 per hour and up (but many of them have to rent “dungeon space which takes a big cut). There a submissive can play out the fantasy of being physically dominated. The problem with online domination is that there are very few things that make it a more realistic experience. An online dominatrix can’t physically whip you. Money is power and therefore financial domination has become the default code for online domination. Many people into domination need to have a realistic experience (think “GFE” in the escort industry) . There is nothing wrong with this as long as it is between consenting adults who are clear about what they are doing. Most of this is not in anyway taking advantage of people. It is a service, just like many others in the vanilla world, and it is very much in demand. That demand has monetary value. If you think this is just an easy payday you would be mistaken. These ladies spend countless hours dealing with idiots trying to get something for nothing. When they turn down a “submissive” they also endure name calling and all sorts of other crap. There are probably about 1000 guys out there to every 1 female that is involved in online/financial domination. As long as people are upfront about expectations this can be a positive experience.

It’s sad to see people down this when they don’t understand it.
Men know what FinDomme entails..he has a choice.This doesn’t mean a Domme is taking advantage.

It’s unfortunate that Findom has grabbed the attention of many opportunists and women who are already financially secure, but not all FinDommes deserve a bad reputation.
I assure you, Domination is the key to this fetish, and I operate strictly within BDSM guidelines and boundaries. I implement safe words, I respect limits and I’m skilled on submissive aftercare as well.

Don’t kink shame. It’s not cool. Not everyone gets into your fetish, and it’s the same respect expected with ours.

And for the record, the sacrifice is what I find to be erotic. Men, especially, put so much value on money in our society – and this fetish plays with the roles involved.

Firstly, financial domination might now be the most “common” fetish, and in some regards can hardly be considered a fetish anymore because half of the college students I’ve seen (all women) can easily get $500-$1000 a month from each “slave” to get through school easily. These women can have up to 10 or more “financial slaves”, and these are just the amateurs.
Financial Domination is also utilized by the gay/trans side, but you almost never hear about it. And the amount of guys that demand money is pitifully small; once again, we show the gender inequalities we’ve experienced for decades/centuries. Like someone else said, if a man were “r@ping a woman’s bank account” then people would cry foul, especially if he weren’t the cliche “good looking successful douche”. Society is so upside down, it’s not even funny.

I’ve found that the majority of these “Findoms” are in fact either teenagers or no older than 25. So they need help getting through college, at the best, but more often I’ve seen they just want money to go shopping to blow $5,000 or buy a new car – and did I tell you that the majority of these women are already FINANCIALLY SECURE? That’s right, most of them are already dilluted spoiled bitche$, who don’t need the money (or can easily work for it), instead too lazy to get up and do anything but they like to manipulate loser, potentially mentally unstable or depressed guys.

I heard “Harry” here say that he met his “Findom” in real life often. Let me point out that this is extremely rare, and probably 95% never do. They’re deemed “losers” and deemed not worthy to meet their Goddesses. This is total BS. The REAL reason they never meet these people that are “huge parts of their lives” (let’s be honest, it’s basically like a marriage), is because these women see these guys as a double-edged sword. Whatever their personal or religious beliefs (likely none), the idea of destroying “rich old farts’ lives” is appealing to them, to selfishly please their needs. Back in the day a teenager would run away from home and become a prostitute or stripper. Now? Bah, who needs that. Just make an account and demand money (and having good looks help, so get your makeup out ladies) and guys over 35 mainly will start swooning over you.

Harry’s story, as I said, really touches me. He said that he would go shopping with her (bizarre), would eat, and claimed he would “talk personal issues with her”. However, then he contradicted all that by saying “of course, she would never call or contact me outside of using my money”. This girl was pretty reckless, to go shopping, dining, etc with this guy in public, but then I assume she stayed away from him apart from that because she was embarrassed or thought this was still too taboo for her family/friends to know (oh no, it might have effected her social life and popularity! The horror!). Then he said she was “relieved that he did not expect any “Humiliation” or other Mistress-slave common motifs.

The above shows that now, women don’t go into “Findom” with any “dom” about it, except for demanding money. They’re not really interested on BDSM, have no interest in it. Maybe they saw “50 Shades” and heard about this, so they try it out. As I say it, if you’re going to give over half of your finances away to some lazy teenaged stranger, the least she could do is learn some gratitude and actually have some type of REAL relationship with that person. The internet has made all of this possible, but now it has gotten out of hand. Sugardaddies were always more common than Sugarmommas, but come on.

To conclude, I (who am actually interested in the LTR BDSM lifestyle aspect) see that BDSM and this “lifestyle” probably reached its peak in the mid 1990’s-early 2000’s. The gender gap is gigantic. In some cases, the ratio of males to “Mistress” is 20 to 1, or greater. Let’s be honest, it’s a crisis. Plus, most of the true sadists are over 35 now – many of these new women coming in after watching “50 Shades” are only half-a$$. The whole genre is being watered down. As I see it, the amount of truly dominant AND sadistic women out there is a lot smaller than either the numbers indicate – and half of them probably had an abusive childhood. Professional Dominatrices/Mistresses that offer sessions for $$$ I feel borderlined on. At least they’re better than this new fad of “Findoms”.

To conclude all of this rambling and ranting (lol), this would be my suggestion to guys who want to truly live “24/7” in this type of lifestyle. Join FetLife (itself only a shell of its former self) just to look up the nearest BDSM groups in your area. Look for local Munches or educational events you can go to to learn more information. It’s usually best if you’re over 21, have good looks and are not shy apparently, but I still say give it a try. You can at least make real life friends and get connections.

Of course, if you live in rural areas/in the South, the chances of you finding a sadistic farm girl are higher who won’t demand money LOL! I’ll probably say more on all this later, and might do a video.

Oh, and last thing: You have to be extremely cautious with who you give money to, obviously. Many of these “ladies” are actually guys sitting in an Internet Cafe in India or Indonesia. Even if you are submissive, before you get into any sort of relationship, you have a RIGHT to know what the lady or guy really looks like; you have a RIGHT to talk to them on the phone, skype with them to see that they are who they say they are. Scammers and pretenders give a bad name to an already decaying genre.

Wowwwww way to go!!! I really hope it lasts for you! Your Mistress will find plenty of other new guys to be at her whim. It’s time to focus on YOU now and see what you can do with the new time/money. Congrats :)

Yeah, I can see how you’d go through all those emotions! Kinda like any other vices too really, only more mental vs physical too? (like with alcohol, drugs, etc). Really fascinating to read about. I hope you are happy in the long run however it ends up working out :)