I hate it when other couples judge people when they don’t combine, I like it because we both have freedom and neither one feels like we’re children when we take money out of our accounts. We also split bills, and we alternate paying for dinner when we go out. Yesterday was my turn and today was my bf’s turn. It works for us!

Not to be a debbie downer, but good people end relationships so I just like having separate accounts just in case. I come from a divorced home, and was raised by a single mom. My bf’s parents are still married. Anyway, my stepdad wiped out a joint account he shared with my mom.

So that was a cautionary tale for me when I was growing up. People preach about joint accounts but then they get divorced, and sometimes good people can act nasty in splits. I hope that never happens to us. We were best friends before we started dating. If we ever broke up I would hope we would act civil and stay friends.

We also make it a point to not share purchases. No halfsies. Such as if one of us wants to buy an item like a tv, a chair, etc. One of us will pay for it and we agree that it belongs to the person who paid for it. My parents went through a nasty divorce and I never want to go through what they went through.

People get married because they love each other (at least in the U.S. and other advanced countries) but when they split it becomes about business, and who gets what car, who gets the house, etc. I never ever want to argue about material stuff.

Personally I avoid financial websites that say “you’re doomed if you don’t split finances” – I mean I can’t believe people still believe that, its the 21st century, and half of all marriages end in divorce so you’d think that people would be a little more prepared these days. People say that its complicated to have separate finances but it’s really not.

Sometimes people say that if you do that then you go into a marriage or relationship with separate goals or a divorce in mind and that’s not true. Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean that you need to share everything. My bf likes caramel but I can’t stand caramel, but still we have many other things in common that we share.

We have really good communication and I really think that’s the key to any relationship no matter what you both choose to do. Sorry this is long but I just feel very strongly that no one has a right to judge what a couple chooses to do. :)

No matter how you do it, I think it’s important for both parties to have an understanding of where ALL the money is going (regardless of who is spending or from which account) and what your shared goals are. And knowing your weaknesses and preferences so that you can set up a system that works for both of you!

@Steph – Yeah, pretty much. Except in theory once we both put in our House $, anything extra is ours to spend as we wish. So if I have $3,000 leftover for some AWESOME reason, then I could spend it on whatev. But of course I’d feel bad and probably invest in soemething together or give her more or something so yeah it is pretty much “our” money just divided up differently to make us mentally sane ;) Glad your system works for you too!
@Shannon – Great questions! For us, it really covers anything that the TWO of us do or need together. So like, all house stuff is covered (mortgages, utilities, food, etc), and then there’s money in there for when we go eat out together, or buy presents for family members, etc etc (If we owned babies or kis, then yup – that all would fall under their too. So basically it’s our “Family Fund” :)) Anything that we do on our own, not relating to the other, goes from our personal accounts. So that’s how we figure it out :) Sometimes we use it to pay for other things too out of convenience, but I’d say 95% of the time it’s strictly “together” stuff. Hope this helps!! And remember, you can always try one route and then tweak as time goes on if it doesn’t work – it took us a while to get used to a good system.
@av – Haha… my hair is slowly receding too!! Only so far it’s left my ‘hawk area so we’re good so far ;) And most DEF on the “not feeling guilty” part – so true!!! Both sides should be as comfortable w/ the plan as possible. You get that locked down, and you’re golden.
@Kevin – hahaha… yeah, it’s not for everyone. But I bet if you guys talked about it over some glasses of wine and a nice dinner, maybe you can slowly get her to reconsider? Or at least try it for like a month and see what happens? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t – just a matter of how important it is to ya ;)
@Travis @ GayFinancialPlan – Yeah, I should look into that more for sure. I know that I have her as the beneficiary on some other USAA accounts of mine, but maybe those don’t get the same status? I’ll have to call and check. Thx bro!
@Amy Saves – Cool! Yeah, we like it. No stress :)

A word of caution though, I would still highly recommend the separate accounts be titled joint accounts or what’s called POD/TOD (payable upon death, transfer upon death). Not to be morbid, but if God-forbid, something did happen to either of you, the accounts transfer automatically to the surviving spouse without going through messy and time-consuming probate.