(bow chicka wha wha)

Actually the question is
1. Would you discuss money on the first date?

No, I won’t talk money on the first date. I don’t know my date that well on the first date. Besides, it might be a turn off for her.

The wedding costs, yes. But that was not the question.

I answer the questions one by one.

2. How long should you wait to talk about money with your spouse?
After you come back from honeymoon. Whether you can pay in full your credit card for the honeymoon expenses or not, you both should sit down and discuss it. The need very much arises when you cannot pay the bill.

3. Who always brings up money in your relationship?
Neither of us in particular. We look at the bills, examine and see where we can reduce expenses.

4. Is it harder to manage your money as a couple than it was when you were single?
Even though singles must show responsibility for spending, as a couple it’s more important for us to manage money better especially when we had kids.

5. Would you offer to pay off your spouse’s debt?
Yes! We share bed so why not money and other things. Marriage must a two-way street. I would offer to pay off her debt because our finances are the same.

6. Is debt a deal breaker?
I was born and raised in an entirely different society than American, we don’t have debt except mortgage.

7. Do you think it’s important to have the same money views?
In the beginning when we got married, we had different views. But over 28 years of marriage, we have come to understand each other handling of money.

8. Can you really change how your spouse spends money?
We both don’t waste anything. Neither of us spends for the sake of spending. We don’t follow Mr. and Mrs. Jones across the street.

I’m just glad you didn’t do it :) But the lucky man who snags you will be thrilled you’re so good with money! You gotta mention that on the first date, haha… he might propose to you right then and there!

1. Would you discuss money on the first date? Well it kinda came up just in the course of the conversation..but he was half drunk so he claims not to remember any of it! lol..

2. How long should you wait to talk about money with your spouse? As soon as things are looking semi serious..We waited too long i think which lead to friction later on.. We lived together for a number of years before getting married and kept our finances separate until then.. We would put a certain amount in “the pot” to pay household expenses but other than that never talked about goals, debts, savings, etc…we didn’t even know how much the other earned! by the time we had good serious talks about money it freaked the hell out of me to see how far apart our views were.. thisclose to being a deal breaker…

3. Who always brings up money in your relationship? ME…out of necessity! by the time we had serious money talks he was over thirty and had exactly $0 liquid savings, $0 retirement, $0 invested…thisclose i tell ya! lol

4. Is it harder to manage your money as a couple than it was when you were single? Harder as a couple..We had talks and came to the same goals but when it came time to actually putting the financial plan into action he was (and still sometimes is) resistant to having to hand over the money so that I can manage it. It used to be he took care of some things and I took care of others and it pretty much evened out but we weren’t making any solid progress so mutually decided to have me manage things…

5. Would you offer to pay off your spouse’s debt? Yes, although to be honest he had no debt and I had some medical debt. He didn’t think he should help me pay down my debt, and I never asked him to. Luckily, neither one of us had (or has) credit cards or any other consumer debt. And for the most part he’s a big believer in paying cash for things. Almost 13 years later and we have not once financed anything!

6. Is debt a deal breaker? Could be..depends on what kind of debt it is. 200k in credit cards is very different from 200k in mortgages…I think the near deal breaker for me at least was not knowing how far apart our financial viewpoints were!

7. Do you think it’s important to have the same money views? YES! a thousand times yes! or at least come to the same goals early on… (again thisclose)

8. Can you really change how your spouse spends money? I’d like to think so but I know he was (and still maybe is ) a little resentful… We would talk about goals and come up with a plan but then he wouldn’t be holding up his end.. totally agree with what you said about “spend as you wish” funds, although i know he wishes he had MORE in this fund..