Comments on: Talking About Money Before Marriage (DO IT!!!)

By: J. Money

J. Money — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 16:49:37 +0000

Thanks for dropping by my friend, glad you enjoy the site! :)

By: Jmom

Jmom — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 15:18:04 +0000

I just want to say that I just came across your site, thru a link from elsewhere and so far I love it. And with regards to the money thing and marriage, it is so totally true. I was married almost 17yrs and a big part of our issues was money. I was a saver and he was a spender, every couple of weeks though, I’d print off a stmt of his account, my account and our account and go over it, he would always get defensive and angry when I’d point out what ‘we’ spent – moreso what he spent. I did our accuont in this chat so he didn’t think I was picking on him specifically (when really my focus is to bring to his attention his weekly/daily spending, but I wanted to be kind and respectful and not make it so I was picking on him). We did not, that I recall, talk about money before hand. I remember thinking though, he had quite a high visa limit before we got married and it bothered me a little because I don’t generally carry a balance on my card, but then I thought it would all be ok, we were in love and once we get married we’d have double income & could pay it off easier…..that, my friends, is a fantasy. With the double income, comes the double debt. So have that chat with your partner if you are committed to them, do not get defensice or angry, try to be on the same page, or atleast in the same book and work on it, it is a much bigger issue than many let on. AND one more thing, always sign some sort of a pre-nupt or marriage agreement if you are coming into the marriage with money, or with some investments of sorts, doesn’t even matter how much, you worked hard for that and even though we hate to think this way, but should the marriage not work out, you should be able to take with you what you brought into the marriage.

By: J. Money

J. Money — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 20:41:20 +0000

Nice! Big fan of Mint myself. It's nice to see the both of you on the same page like that :)

By: andrew

andrew — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 01:10:01 +0000

I am getting married in about 6 weeks, and we discussed finances. In fact, we set up a shared email, a shared mint.com account, added all of our bank accounts into one mint.com profile. Set up all the budgets that I had in my single Mint.com account. With the new “Goals” we are on our way to a down payment on a house and more.

By: J. Money

J. Money — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 19:36:04 +0000

Say it loud and proud, girl!

By: Aury (Thunderdrake)

Aury (Thunderdrake) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 20:52:10 +0000

Personally, I’m EXTREMELY selective with my love interests. One thing I shamefully admit is being single for a while, but conversely, I just don’t want to settle for someone who isn’t worth it.

I’d like to go the whole nine yards with financial matters before getting serious. Budgeting, real estate, investments, if she’s not interested… Then… That can put a big time dent on things!

So I gotta choose carefully. <.<

By: J. Money

J. Money — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 18:27:28 +0000

That is so sad :( And goes to show just how REAL this is.

By: Donna Freedman

Donna Freedman — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 17:58:32 +0000

Just got done doing an interview for my next “Living With Less” column. Two people told me that they couldn’t talk to their spouses about money because it always led to a fight. One told me that she and her husband were in vastly different places about money (spender vs. penny-pincher) and it was the one thing they could never discuss even though debt was mounting.
Please, folks, have THE TALK before you say “I do”!

By: J. Money

J. Money — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 17:10:08 +0000

@Mysti – Hang in there!!! Keep on communicating :) Gonna go check out your post in a bit.
@Suzanne – Thanks!
@Kerry G. – Wow. That is certainly hardcore! haha…good for you guys though, you’re right who knows how it would have been brought up/dealed w/ out doing that from the beginning. Good for you guys, I’m not sure I would have gone for it ;)

By: Kerry G.

Kerry G. — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 13:28:31 +0000

We each got our credit report, sat down, and explained everything to each other. Some people cringe at this, but it was nice knowing that we trusted each other enough to accept whatever it was we were about to see (we did this two years ago, and have been married for one). My husband had about $18k in debt (defaulted, etc). I don’t know if he would’ve told me exactly how bad it was unless we had done that (I like to think that he would :) Thankfully, we’ve dwindled that to about $3k, and will pay the rest off by the end of the summer.

If it wasn’t for our sit down, we would’ve never started planning on how to get rid of this, I’ll admit, because the hubby really didn’t know where to start (thankfully I consider myself financially savvy, so we worked our a plan). But it definitely took that sit down to identify it. I think all couples should do it!