I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it – it’s always hard to tell who gets tips and who doesn’t, at least for me! I’ve forgotten to many a times and I’m sure many people here have too :)

“Tips are supposed to be calculated ”before’ tax”. Correct.

“People love getting a five dollar bill. It’s a really nice gesture”. Totally agree”! That’s why it’s my default tip amount, unless it works out to less than ten percent.

“When you write a tip on a charge slip, the receipient has to pay taxes on it”. I don’t see that as “marginalizing” anyone: it’s the way the system is supposed to work (servers will always tell you that they pay taxes on their tips. And why not; taxes pay for all the social services we benefit from.

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20% would be crazy!

Denise! Wow! What a thoughtful, and interesting, comment – thank you!

I did not know about the tipping before tax part, nor thought about a lot of this stuff you dropped here. I will say that I do change my tipping rule when it comes to a beer or other random tip jars and do $1.00 flat myself. And especially when the beer is free like at weddings or events, etc.

I actually wrote an article once about the idea of tipping BEFORE being served just to see how the service would change, haha… let me go dig it up for you…

Here we are:
https://eliteedgemoney.com/2008/09/forget-about-tipping-after-service/

I might have to copy your comment here into a new blog post and revive this tipping talk :) Always a juicy one in the personal finance community! So thanks again taking the time to share today – enjoyed reading.

I am not sure if anyone pointed this out in the comments, but tips are supposed to be calculated *before* tax. Many people don’t know that these days, but it’s true. Because of the ease of calculation on the total, if you are tipping 20% after tax, you are *actually a rock star tipper*! So now you can feel really great about yourself.

This minor monetary difference makes a huge impression on waitstaff, delivery folks, etc. You become a favorite customer very quickly. I was once told that TIP is an acronym for “to insure promptness.” This doesn’t make sense because of the grammatical error (should be ensure) and because you don’t tip ahead of time, so it wouldn’t make a difference on that visit. However, if you are a repeat customer, you’ll notice that waitstaff in various restaurants will clamor to take your table. One minor downside is that sometimes they can be too chatty and friendly on a day when you just want to de-stress and quietly eat your meal.

Exceptions to the 20% policy and other thoughts:
* drinks at the bar get a buck apiece. Sandwiches at the sub shop used to get a buck apiece. I am *not* tipping 20% of the total for a sandwich being made when I did not get table service. Now that I place a weekly order for 4 subs, I make sure they see me drop $5 in the jar. Hardly anyone does that, judging from the fact that I never see $5 bills in the jar. It makes a big impression.
* That brings me to the power of $5. This is usually for manual labor situations where it doesn’t make sense to tip a percentage on the price of an item or service (i.e. sod delivery, septic tank pumpout, non-food delivery service, house cleaning, mulch delivery, etc.). People love getting a five dollar bill. It’s a really nice gesture. They’re putting their back into something I don’t want to physically do. It shows them they are valued. I sometimes do this even if the owner of the company is the service provider, but in that case I say, “I know you are the owner of this business and it’s not considered necessary to tip an owner, so I hope you won’t consider it an insult if I give you a little something for yourself.” They almost always grin and accept the five bucks and look quite pleased. They are happy to come back and help me again. The exception to this is contractors who are also proprietors on expensive jobs. Then they just get the rate we negotiated.
* There’s something gauche about just throwing money at people if you’re not connecting with them and treating them like humans. Sometimes tipping people can make them feel like a piece of meat and can be construed as an insult. Sometimes when I feel funky about tipping I try to get clear on why it may or may not be appropriate. What are your thoughts here? I like to take a deep breath, look the person in the eye, thank them once, say in one brief sentence why I found value in what they did, and say thank you again.
* My haircuts here in FL cost $12. I used to pay $45 before tip in NJ! I give my stylist a $10 tip. She is really talented and does an incredible job, and I still come out way ahead. That’s nearly an 83% tip. I know I am high maintenance and picky when it comes to my hair, and I want her to be glad to see me coming. I also can’t figure out how anyone can possibly be making a living wage at a place that charges $12 haircut, so I want her to know she is valued and supported.
* it makes me angry that employers don’t pay a living wage and we are expected to make up this shortfall. Food delivery folks do get the 20% tip from me because they have crazy sidework and wear and tear on their cars, and the bigger my food order is the more they have to struggle to get it to my door.
* tipping does seem like throwing money around, especially if you are budget conscious. This might actually be a plus, because it could help in deciding if an expenditure that requires a tip is really necessary. If it hurts too much to give that extra buck or five bucks or 20%, maybe you should be finding a way to get your needs met that doesn’t require labor and tipping.
* tipping in an age where people don’t carry cash anymore can be really challenging. When you write a tip on a charge slip, the recipient has to pay taxes on it. The plus side is that they notice the exact amount that you tipped. The downside is that an a service worker is further marginalized.
* When I give a buck to the homeless guy, I am tipping him for reminding me that life can be really hard and compassion is important and that money has real value and that I am in a place where I can afford to be a little generous.

I don’t think it’s mandatory for example if I am not sitting getting service if I am let’s say at a nightclub getting a beer, I am not going to tip on someone flipping a cap. That’s not service. It takes MORE WORK at the mall McDonald’s for the cashier to fill a cup with ice and coke for NO TIP. So I go by comparing who gets tipped and who doesn’t for more or less work. If there’s more work, but no tip, I am not going to give someone a tip for less work, that’s just not fair. While I know McDonald’s workers get paid more per hour, but what they get paid per hour doesn’t matter if the work load is less than what they are doing. Flipping a cap is almost no work. Now if I am sitting down, then that’s different. I am only talking about if I am standing there only getting counter type service at the bar such as in a nightclub.

Of course. And sometimes I tip for it. I just don’t personally think it’s as mandatory as in other situations.

You do realize coffee is more work than flipping a cap, right?

I like being asked too – else I’ll just keep drinking whatever’s in front of me which can be bad if it’s caffeine/coffee refill after refill, haha…